blind eyes open
-1 Corinthians 6:19~20-

Woah. Just realized that I did not publish this blog.
Today's January 23rd. lol.
But there ya go. It's about Jesus Culture Redding.

August 1 - 3
Jesus Culture : Redding

August 1st
After the Kingdom-smashing regional conference in Orange County, I went up to the Real Deal in Redding. As soon as Lou Engle open his mouth and speak, my upper body was moving back and forth to his words. He is definitely a man of integrity and consistantcy and humbleness. Moreover, everyone went to the front to walk under this tapestry of different conferences that Lou's wife has made to receive anointing. It was only the first night and God's fire was consuming the convention center.

August 2nd
Morning
We went out for City Invasion. We went to this plaza which they called "mall", and we found out that there was almost no one in that plaza, at least not many who are disabled or sick. Before hand I wrote down some signs, but unfortunately I didn't even pray for ANYONE during that invasion period. I felt really bad and sad because I knew that more people missed out a chance to experience God's Kingdom because I chicken'd out. Actually I did not chicken's out, but many rejections kinda defeated me even though I knew that I should've become stronger after rejections.

Afternoon
This is very unfortunate. I basically missed out a workshop because I was just so out of it and fell asleep all the way through. Enoch poured some water down my back and that woke me up....lol

Night
Banning, the youth pastor of Jesus Culture, shared once again about 1 Samuel 14 about how Jonathan knows what is in his heart and what his dream is. He talks about his experience of whale-watching and becoming an astronaut. "You have to allow yourself to dream...I your dream isn't impossible, then it is not from God.

Are we ready?.....na, don't even start with that one.
Am I ready?
How "ready" should I feel? I do not know. But just like what Jack said, "do you have a heart for the people there in Vegas? do you love them?"

It's nothing easy. How on earth am I supposed to love some people whom the names I don't even know?

Dear Heavenly Father, please grant me the strength to love and accept instead of to hate and reject.
Grant me Your love cause I don't think my love can go THAT far.
Show me how to love and grant me visions when I go to Vegas.
Jesus, please let me love them like You love me.

I need you. now. a breakthrough.

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By the way, The Simpsons Movie is out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so excited! D'oh!

June was the crazieset month for me -- Graduation, Grand Canyon Skywalk, An awesome Japanese meal, See Friends, Back to the Embrace, Receiving Visions, Understanding My Goal of Position in the Kingdom, Filled by the Spirit, Prayed by Strangers, Prayed for Strangers, Prophesy over Strangers, Piano Playing, Bass Slapping, and A Hoarse Throat that Simply Does Not Function Like A Throat.

Gravity is now dragging my eyelids but I could not let gravity prevail. I do not like to lose. Who does anyways?

Unfortunately, gravity won. Men cannot prevail gravity when he is exausted thoroughly.

I've never felt so lost before.
I had a purpose when I was at NMH. I knew what I was going after and accomplishing.
But not now.
Like what Jack said to me, "What is your calling? What spiritual gifts do you wish to receive?"
and "What's your purpose of going to conferences? What do you wish to get from it?"
I really do not know why I wish to go to THE CALL, but I've always had an urge to go.
I need to know WHY I wish to go before I even make a move. And I will keep on praying to God and listen. That's what I lack. The ability to stop and listen.

time to write more songs!

Give me some breakthrough, Jesus!