blind eyes open
-1 Corinthians 6:19~20-

On the way driving back to my home, at around 1am I believe so, I turned off the music and asked God for more. And He sure did. I started to tear up and tell Him how much I love Him. And then the next thing I knew was that I had some trouble seeing the road because of the tears. Jesus I love Your presence. I actually passed home but I wanted more. So I drove for another two or three miles and just cry before the Lord like a baby would. I really can't thank Him enough because He's done way too many things for me even before I entered this world: how I was born and how I was weak, and tonight my left arm and leg were both feeling weird and aching unusually. Then I started to flex my left hand--first a fist, then release, and so on....for about fifteen minutes. My muscles were hurting but I couldn't really stop the hand from flexing. It was really frustrating for a while. I kept on asking God, "why am I doing this? please tell me why, Lord. It hurts."

Then He said to me,
"Your hands used to sin against me, but through my blood they are made clean. And I will use them for my glory."

Basically he's telling me Isaiah 61:
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
-Isaiah 61:3-

Many time I really do think how dirty my hands are and how I'm using the same hands that sinned to play notes, to worship Him. I mean the chains were broken a while ago, but I am still being haunted, in a way, by my former sins I guess. And tonight God freed me from another bondage of not to linger on the sins that are already washed away therefore to block me from going deeper with the Spirit.
Yeah so the Lord tenderized my heart even more and I asked Him to do that on a regular basis, hopefully every day. I love to cry before the Lord and get totally messed up by His overwhelming presence.

Johnny

I love Mark and Debbie.
And I gotta say tonight was really awesome that God tenderized so many hearts simply with His presence and open hearts. I really do expect crazy things to happen tomorrow!

God is so good =)
I pray for more hungry hearts and thirsty souls
Love You Jesus

Johnny

Totally amazing.
Annie, when you earn lots of money, you can also rent TWIN PALMS and open it up for free to the public and invite all the amazing worship leaders to come and do some fill-in gigs from all over the world, and serve first-class food such as coconut shrimp nad lamb chops! I'm dreaming for you already!

Not gonna say much but to say how blessed Impact is to have known Mark and Debbie and how they have got us connected with so many people from all over the world doing amazing works for the Lord! I can't wait for this weekend. I know it's going to be something spectacular and God's going to do something new and craaaaaazy!

People get ready!

Johnny

Love your God with all your
heart-soul-mind-strength
Love your neighbors as yourself

Today was a hard day for me.
7 hours of classes....eek.
As I was walking to class, I asked God,
"What should I do here on campus?"
And all He answered me was, "Be my messenger."
"I understand, but how can I
use my calling to spread Your Gospel?"
Then He didn't say anything.

After 7 hours of craziness,
I watched 4 episodes of Simpsons.
I just wanted to relax.
I didn't turn to the Lord during that hour of free time.
Anyhow, I wanted to go to IV Large Group.
Before that I was over the phone with Annie,
hoping to figure out the song list in a loud environment.
It was quite frustrating on both sides.
Ended that call, felt really weird and all.
Finally plugged in my headphone and
listened to Came To My Rescue on my way to IV.

I just wanted to worship Him, so I did.
Lifted up my hands, couldn't even sing.
He is just so good at taking my burden away.
Tearing up so many times during worship.

This song always brings tears to my eyes.
It's sung in 4 different languages:
I love You, Love You, Love You, My Lord Jesus
I love You, Love You, Love You, Jesus
我愛祢, 我愛祢, 愛祢, 我主耶穌
我愛祢, 我愛祢, 愛祢, 耶穌
Te amo, Te amo, Te amo, Mi Cristo Jesus
Te amo, Te amo, Te amo, Jesus
Saranghaeyo, Saranghaeyo, Saranghaeyo, Mon Cho Jesu
Saranghaeyo, Saranghaeyo, Saranghaeyo, Jesu

And the Lord gave me the word LOVE.
He reminded me WHY we're doing what we're doing
and what attitude we should have for the conference.
Music is one thing, but Love is everything.
I'd give up playing and singing for the Lord
if there is no Love.
God reminded me of what Jack said to the cores
before we headed to Las Vegas.
And tears started to well up in my eyes again.

And then after the sharing, IV did the Lifehouse skit.
Tears welled up again.

And the song Child of God hit right into my heart.
It such a beautiful song. I want to sing it at Impact.
I couldn't stop crying before Him and tell Him I
'm sorry that I haven't been loving Him back a lot today
especially today was really crazy academic wise.

I went down to have someone pray for me.
This guy's real cool and I told him about what I felt
and through his prayer the Lord gave me
peace and joy and more strength. And, of course, Love.

And then I prayed for that cool guy.
He told me that he's still struggling with
many things in the world: hatred and lust mainly.
I shared with him how the Lord delivered me from
the chain of lust back in November,
so I prayed for this guy who wants to
serve the Lord with guitar playing and praying for people.
Lord I pray for spirit of boldness and confidence
to fall upon my brother right now.
I ask that You would protect him from attacks
and temptations and lead him from the wilderness
into the land of milk and honey.

Just one more day until the conference.
We gotta pray for love, peeps.
At least that's what the Lord put in my heart tonight.

And now I will show you the
most excellent way.
-1 Cor 12:31-

Go check out that scripture.
Love HAS TO BE the foundation of our actions.
Let's serve because of love.
I don't care about music as much as I care about love.
Now I understand why. He answered me.

Father You're all I need
My soul sufficiency.

Johnny

ps. I remembered why I do what I do. I love UCSD.

I had a good time with Speach up on that ugly head of the serpent. We prayed and shared a bit of what happened during this past 2 weeks. It was pretty awesome. I was kinda sad not seeing the rest of the gang, but I saw them tonight at YOPP.

This morning I was just telling Speach that the moment I came back I felt the burden of this school upon me and I once again have entered, actually RETURNED, to the battlefield. And tonight I teared up a couple times because Eddie started to ask each one of us about our callings and how he can give each of us a push to another level of our life-time callings because Eddie knows that his calling is to end humanism and crush the snake's head. However, not every one's called to do the same thing that Eddie's doing. I started to feel like...oh man..what on earth is going on here...I don't REALLY know what my calling is, or do I?

So Grace had a dream: She got a new cell phone. Then she was at a swimming pool, and she put her cell phone on top of her towels. And she dived into the pool and had lots of fun. However, when she got out from the pool, she found out that her cell phone's missing. Furthermore she realized that someone has took Grace's SIM card out and replace it with his own.

Are we all diving into this huge movement--whether it's worship, cell group, art, Impact, Love Tent, YOPP, JHOP, IHOP, Bethel, Harvest Rock, 24/7 Prayer Room--and leaving our callings on the side? We NEED to make sure that we've got that phone secured; we cannot just ignore our intimate communication with the Lord and dive into someone else's vision.

Jack's been asking the core peeps the same question since June: "What is your calling?" Because his dream is not to have everyone staying at Impact unless he/she is CALLED TO. He wants to see everyone eventually grow in maturity and stand firm on his very own calling--his own ministry. And we need to make sure that we are standing firm in what we're called to do so that when we dive into a movement, we do not leave our cell phones behind. And I do not want my calling to be taken away! Even more I want to have a heart that desire more--even to take someone else's talents away because they do not want them! That's how much desire I want the Lord to grant me! How about you? I'm still in the process of searching for the entire picture because I know that I'm created for a specific purpose and I have a unique calling. I wrote a little bit about the desire for anointing on Feb 22:

And I urge all of you on campus to have a heart that longs for blessings and anointing to a point that you even want to "steal" other people's anointing. This happened to Esau, whose blessings were completely stolen by his brother Jacob(later Israel) because Jacob CONTENDED for the 1)Birthright and 2)Generation blessing. I wrote about this here a couple days ago.

Jack's called to see young people in San Gabriel Valley encounter Jesus, be equipped, and eventually be sent out(to have their ministries and follow their callings). And he is going after his calling, standing firm on it. He fully supports what we are doing at Impact: having campus revival meetings, pro-life sieges, city invasion--these are all different ministries he's supporting fully; nevertheless, he does not forget his very own calling. And what we are doing right now is to assisting him in his calling and vision as a church. I'm not saying that once we receive our callings that we need to abandon the assistance. I'm expressing how important it is to find our own callings and maximize our callings and assisting others with their callings with your ministry, stand side by side.

God right now I pray over those who are searching for their callings. Would You reveal Your unique plan to each one of us because we believe that we all have a life-time calling from You for preparing Your second coming. Tell us to which part of the body we belong. Teach us how to utilize our calling for Your kingdom. We do not want to just blindly follow someone else's vision, but we want clear confirmations about Your plan for us for the next 50, 60, or 70 years. Give us a 30 second summary of our callings. I'll do whatever it takes to get that new cell phone and keep it with me at all times. And unite our hearts and let us work side-by-side as different pieces of Your final picture!

In respond to Eric's question during campus revivalist meeting 2 weekend ago: Should we get involved in the fellowships on campus?
I remember that my answer to that question was pretty vague...something about how we all should totally get connected with all fellowships and build relationships....something like that. I think now I can provide a better answer, maybe not the best: You gotta find out what you're called for first, and then stand firm on that and pursue that calling--don't ignore that. However, if you are still finding your calling, go after what's on your heart because maybe(just maybe) one of the things on your heart is something the Lord's calling you to do! If you found out this is not the right thing for you, then it's cool, you pray about it and switch to a different direction. How much desire you have determines your desperation for more. You've heard that for a million times, but many times we do fall short and become weak and have no desire to search because of the multiple failures. Persistence is also a big part of wanting something. Trial and Error is a way, but I'd say go with PRAYER first. You might be surprised what God would show you through your consistent prayer for your calling!

That's about it. I'm still going after my greatest passion--music. I desire to become a prophetic worshiper, but I'm still not 100% positive about my calling. I feel like we are(as body of Christ) entering into a new season--and it's spring time and the 2nd quarter of 2008. New showers of blessing and soon will come the fruit(maybe in the 3rd quarter?). I'm excited!

...I will cause showers to come down in their season;
there shall be showers of blessing.
-Ezekiel 34:26-

Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
-Psalm 37:4-

Johnny

ps. I realized that today was my Lunar Calendar birthday! My dad called me and left me a voicemail with my grandparents too! They are so awesome.

pps. Woah I can't believe I have 35 entries in March, which has 31 days! I love to blog! 3 more quarters to go, that is about 273 more entries until 12/31!