Unexpected Weakness

I was totally fine this morning. Alone at Starbucks having my vanilla latte and reading over the notes I took during the conference. I actually met this guy Bernett, he's around 30ish, from Hong Kong. I talked to him simply because I saw him reading his bible--the huge one with a huge case that says "God's Words" in the cover of the case. I basically offered him a prayer and we chatted a little about life in general. He told me that he has a 15-month-old daughter whose name is Angel. He goes to Temple City Chinese Baptist Church(I think, but it's a baptist church in Temple City). It was great. We exchanged numbers and I ope to call him up sometime in the future to hang out again.

After getting to church and practicing with Annie for today's worship and after saying hi to some people, my heart was stirred up. Or my heart felt weak. Either one. Or many both. During worship my spirit was stirred up as I sang King of Glory and For Who You Are. Jesus You're glorious and powerful. I adore You God. Come and live with me.

The worship at Harvest Rock was spirit-filled, yet I felt extremely exhausted and tired. So I was really into the worship. After sitting down and fell asleep for a bit, I woke up and started to give God praise even though I was really tired and all. I really didn't know why I was so tired because on my way to HRC my energy level was still pretty darn high. Oh well, guess this is called the "sudden crash of the spirit." I was really frustrated over this so I kept on asking God to come inside of me even though my whole body was just about to shut down. And actually I stayed awake over Chuck Pierce's message. I would've shown more enthusiasm if I wasn't that tired and all. And that was one of the reasons that I gave up waiting in the line receiving the mantle. My spirit is willing but my mind and the physical condition says no. Lord come to my rescue!

Thanks Jack and Annie for just being there at my aid. The food totally resurrected me for a bit. I realy do pray to God to start reveal more and take me to a new level of expectation of miracles and wonders and callings.

I still feel quite a bit weak but I really don't care about it now for I know that He still rejoices over me even when I'm so delicate and weak like a stranded sheep in an open field, could be eaten at any time. I was reading many people's blogs and the words started to boost up my spirit man, and I felt encouraged once again. God I really do need encouragement daily! I want to see myself through Your eyes!

Wanna share one thing from today's reading:
Even though I've read this story of the demon possessed men healed by Jesus in Matthew 8, I am still captured by the fact that this event actually got the villagers all worked up! After this news was spread throughout the region, here's what happened:

The whole town went out to meet Jesus.
And when they saw Him,
they pleaded with Him to leave their region.
-Matthew 8:34-

Isn't that simply unreasonable? If I were Jesus, I would be completely confused. Why are you kicking me out? Didn't I just healed these two sick and angry guys whom all of you have known of for so many years? And now you're asking me to leave because I've performed a supernatural miracle?

They don't see it.
The eyes of their hearts are not opened.
The concept of divine healing hasn't come to their minds.
They are not willing, rather they are resisting.

Aren't we like those town people sometimes? God really has done something incredibly significant in our lives, yet we didn't see it through the eyes of faith; therefore we miss out a chance that God's given to us. God I want to see it. Whatever that "it" is, I want to see, touch, smell, hear, taste, and experience it! Would You put an alerted spirit within me so that my heart is still guarded when I'm weak! I don't want to misunderstand the works that You've done, especially the purpose of Your works.

I love You Jesus.
Thank You that my strength will be restored after tonight's sleep.

Johnny