When we ask the Lord for an apple, He gives us an apple seed. God's more of a farmer than a supermarket. In this new season, I believe it's time to plant a seed that will grow fruits in due time, however long it will take. "I still want to lead a cell group." I said to Jack when we talked about the split between Alice and I in this new season to start our own groups. As much as I want to start a group that focuses on musicality and worship, somehow my heart is screaming out for cell groups. I don't think I'm a good cell group leader, but for the past 1.5years of doing it, you could say I'm a little bit better at leading.
Ever since the start of my walk with Jesus seven years ago, the thought of being a cell group leader never went across my mind at all, I really didn't know how to lead one or even want to lead one because I believed that wasn't "my calling". Well, about 1.5 years ago I went to WAVE and got a call from Jack, telling me that I'm leading it.
Yup, not a comfortable feeling. Well, obedience obedience obedience. The maturity process has been slow but noticeable, at least to me. I can't agree more that being a cell leader is one of the best way to grow spiritually because i had to pretty much do everything since there's no co-leader in the beginning stage: calling people up, praying, worship, and sharing... they were all quite challenging in their own little ways. Frustration, anxiety, and stress are always knocking on my door, trying to get it. Sometimes I would give in and not close the door, but sometimes I really learned how to shut them out as I drew my eyes on the One who gives good gifts, love, peace, hope, and strength. A lot of our weekly meetings were very dry and without directions, yet some were filled with God's presence and love.
My desire for this new season is to see more potential leaders find their place in God's Kingdom and that they will raise up even more leaders in the future, so on and so forth. Not only that, I want to see my boldness to be increased in a higher level that I really can go crazy because I'm so madly in love with this man called Christ Jesus. I need to share the REAL gospel to more people and see more souls heading to their real home in Heaven. "If I know God's love and doesn't share it, then their blood will be in my hands", said Paul in the most straightforward way. That verse really speaks to my heart: this is the work that I will never stop doing because I'll get some sweet eternal rewards. I don't want to share God's love not only for the reward set before me, but also see souls completely transformed by God's grace and love that brings them to their knees.
I don't know what this new season looks like, but I know I have to seek and love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, that everything else will be added unto me. Basics basics basics is so crucial in the season of change. A part of me doesn't like change, but I knew that changes are necessity to growth and maturity. I am excited for the unknown lie before me, and I'm just going to take one step at a time with the Lord, and eventually I will know His good plan for me.
Evangelism & Edification => Encounter & Disciple.
What will the Next Wave look like? Well, just wait and see.
I will nurture the apple seed and be faithful with what's been given to me.
Johnny
