blind eyes open
-1 Corinthians 6:19~20-

It's 5:05am and I'm pretty much packed and ready to go on this once-in-a-lifetime journey to the far, far away land of West Africa. I still have that question ringing in my ear: Why am I going to Togo? I think one of the answers is that ever since my Cambodia trip last summer, I've made a decision to go on a oversea mission trip at least once a year. And the other reason could be that I want to have that heart for the nations. I will never, ever forget that afternoon prayer meeting with the local missionaries in Cambodia where I could not stop bawling and pounding the floor with a heart aching for the land. I can still remember that intensity and the burning within as I type.

I remember back in February I really came to God and ask Him to purify my heart and my whole being, knowing that trials were sure to come. Now, six months later, my heart has certainly felt lighter, and since my stepping back into the worship leading rotation, I've felt another level of freedom in worship which I've never encountered before during corporate worship times. There's so much to learn, so much challenges to face. Like Jack's been saying, leaders should always take initiatives and CAST VISIONS. CAST VISIONS. CAST VISIONS. CAST VISIONS.

My heart is very excited for the next two weeks and how my life will be once again never the same! O Jesus come, I want You. Holy Spirit, thanks for living in me, though sometimes could be a rough place to live in, but whenever that happens, Your joy always kicks in and make all things new.

Je suis prêt! On y va!
I'm ready! Here we go!

johnny

Father's Day falls on the eighth day of the eighth month for Chinese people because the word "eight" sound very much like "Dad" in Chinese (and in many other languages). A week ago after the Sunday service, the worship band gathered with Jack and had a short meeting mainly because for the past month or two the worship on Sundays were not "there". We all knew in our spirits that something's missing. But honestly, I didn't know what exactly was missing... maybe I'm not sensitive enough to the Holy Spirit? Maybe the band didn't click, or because of the lack of practice? Jack mentioned to the worship leaders that song picking is very important because all songs would have a better and powerful flow if they are surrounded by a common theme that connect each other and sometimes in response.
So the songs were about God as a Father and the Love of the Father that heals, delivers, and set people free as they realize that they do not have to do a thing to receive the Father's love because they inherit whatever Jesus had when they accepted Him in the first place.

As I was going through the songs, many more songs caught my attention, so this was the final list:


During our band practice in the morning, we spent the last 20 minutes just blessing God and give Him all the honor, glory, and praise with our playing and our voices. It was one of the most powerful moments for sure. I did not know what was coming. As we started to sing I Know Who I Am, somehow I felt like God is going to restore identity in people's hearts once again as they sing this song over themselves. As we started singing All For Love, definitely an Impact all-time favorite song with beautifully written lyrics on the love of Father and the Cross, the love of God started to be poured out all over the room, and His presence was so tangable, so thick. And it kept on increasing as we sing "In Your presence, all fear is gone" and the simple, prayerful chorus:


Once again the song focuses on the identity of God as a Father and us as children, and our need for Him to come be our strength and carry us through the storms in His embrace. As I was considering whether we should close with this song or sing Bring Restoration, somehow my spirit started to declare freedom in this place as we sang a little new song to God, and He used Bring Restoration to break chains and loose bondages. It was beautiful. He is beautiful.
Your son, johnny

Even though I've really known them for only six months during my freshman year @ UCSD, but their impact to me is long-lasting. I love Robbie's steadfast heart and his will to go the distance to reach his goals and to encounter God, and I love Maritha's heart of compassion, love, and purity. Congratulations to you both as you are starting to fulfill a new chapter of God's written destiny! This is the second wedding I've attended this year, and once again I see God all over the newlyweds -- John & Cheryl, Robbie & Maritha -- their journey has been orchestrated by the Maker of the Universe! How I long for that day too, as I exchange my vow with my beloved one, whoever she may be, that I will see God's hand all over my marriage, because He's just so great at it. During their wedding today I really felt the Bridegroom King leaning down, poised for His coming. How beautiful, how glorious, how magnificent that day will be! Our weddings would lose all the glory compared to the Wedding of the Lamb! Come, Jesus, come.

johnny

Love is blind, some says. But I propose that love is not blind. When you really care about that person, you would do ANYTHING for that person, even unto death. And right now, I simply need to come before the Lord and say: "Here I am, I would do anything for You, even unto death." I believe the brothers and sisters in China prayed this dangerous prayer which was answered time and time again. I wonder whether I have the faith to do the same thing. And now I need to do solely is to love the Lord my God with all my heart, all my soul, all my mind, and all my strength and love His people.

I was praying to the Lord and a message from Bill Johnson came to me: when God is First, there is no Second. when God is the best, there is no second best. I believe this is the prayer and my yearning for this season. Let God be the best.

Watched more of Kim Walker's sharing on worship leading and song choices. Each one really put what I feel to words, and once again worship in its simplest form is to connect with God with a heart ready to love Him and receive love from Him. O how I want to get into that posture day in and day out, from the rising of the sun to the setting of the moon!

Today, I was supposed to teach some piano, but it ended being a prayer and deliverance session with the Holy Spirit where this person, having headaches because of depression, having depression because of rejection and heartaches from a relationship, encountered the God that is above all depression, all issues, all problems. After coming before the Lord and confessed sins and forgive whatever that's needed to be forgiven, whether it's others or self, the headache was lifted off, and energy came back bit by bit as I played on the keys with soaking music and hymns. O I just love the presence of the King because we bow down in all humility before Him and surrender our rights and life to Him and Him alone! Man that just gets me all pumped down (as in to bow even lower)! We closed with one of my favorite songs: Bring Restoration. I believe this song is the prayers of many during this week. We will sing this on Sunday!

While men fail us, God never fails and His promises are always true, and His love never-ends.

johnny

I shared on worship for 10 minutes or so this past Sunday, but I felt like I kinda missed what I was going to say... oh well, I need to work on my sharing skills and organization. Worship is really about our connection with our God, and our love for Him and His love for us. That's really what worship is. Nothing more and nothing less. After listening to Kim Walker's sharing, my heart was stirred. How can we connect with our God and tap into His presence much easier on Sunday... only by being in a constate state of worship during the week. O God I long for you even more!



johnny