blind eyes open: February 2010

Boston Bread of Life Youth Retreat

Thursday, February 25, 2010
By johnny

It has been a little over two years since my last visit to Massachusetts. I went back to my high school in December 2007 mainly to visit my good buddy Sam.

I was really excited about this trip even though my main goal was actually all about going back to my high school. Yes, I admit. =)

ROFL Youth Retreat

You can't have a better name of a youth group - ROFL? haha. I believe one day they will see their name being manifested during their Friday night meetings! (really rolling on the floor laughing in the Spirit!)

There were fourteen people in the youth group, most of which are middle school and high school students, and a couple of them are hearing back from colleges such as HARVARD and YALE, to name a few BEST UNIVERSITIES. (One kid got an 2400 score in SAT with a 4.79GPA. Yes, SoCal kids, we are too distracted by this world. They live in the middle of nowhere, that could be the reason why they are so smart.)

The River of Life Church in Boston started in January 2006, and ever since God started to manifest His presence and His power in New England. There is no Chinese churches like this one that is exploding with God's testimonies -- sick being healed, chains being broken, people being set free by the LOVE and the POWER of Christ! The leaders are such humble and sweet servants of God who constantly seek Him in prayers and thanksgiving!

Their youth group, ROFL, is led by Pastor Jocelyn's son, Tim, who is a third-year student at Boston College. Tim leads worship and sings his heart out and he loves Jesus so much I could totally feel that passion in his worship to God.

Jack shared on the first night on this amazing story of Lazarus in Luke 16. This story always brings tear to my eyes because I see the hunger in Lazarus wanting to the face of Jesus and also the determination of Jesus telling Lazarus to come down from the tree, and saying He "must" stay at Lazarus' house because He sees his hunger and his passion. Jack encouraged the youth to give the key of their houses to God and to invite Him to come in and dwell within.

That night, I was praying the God (and so was Jennifer) what He wanted me to share the next morning. I was going to share either about faith in the storm or be a dreamer, but somehow I went into a different direction, which became so cool because it was the Lord speaking through me. And guess what? Jennifer got the same message but I basically said everything that she wanted to say (funny, Lord.). However she did a wonderful job further explaining what I shared visually! And Eric, who arrived in the morning, encouraged the youth to keep sticking together and encourage one another and seek God's presence during meetings and press in to see good fruit in the next season! That morning we really mentioned how the level of our hunger for Jesus would determine how much He would pour out according to our capacity.

In the afternoon, we watched the documentary movie Furious Love and afterwards the entire room was in silence. We worshiped, many encountered the love of Jesus in tears. There was no extreme physical manifestation, just tender encounter with the love of Jesus. That afternoon, I knew that these youth are so ready for an encounter with Jesus Himself. They were hungry.

The worship during the night session was powerful: we entered into a time of spontaneous worship and many of them started to raise their hands and arms to express their love and hunger for God. It was definitely a night of breakthrough for this youth group and I believe that God will bind them closer to each other because they are creating a family culture in their midst. Maybe there is still a gap between me and them, but I felt like I was a part of this small and intimate family.

Father, I thank You for what You're doing in Boston, the state of Massachusetts, and the region of New England. You are still very much alive and active, and these people are hungry for more of Your presence and Your Kingdom, and I pray that You would just give it to them until their cups are overflowing with Your love! I pray that the signs, wonders, and miracles that has been happening in the adult congregation would go to the youth group as they recognize their original identity and take up their kingdom authority and advance the Kingdom by sharing Your love and demonstrating the power of the Holy Spirit!

They are super amazing and cute.... kneeling on the floor!
They are all going to be revivalists!!
ROFL, we'll be back again! Love ya'll! =)

Johnny

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Posted by johnny at 10:13 PM 0 comments
Cynthia's Testimony

By johnny

Remember the foot growing testimony I shared last week?
Well, here's Cynthia sharing it in her own words! =)

On Valentine's Day 2010, I watched the film "Furious Love" as part of Sunday service. I was really touched when I learned from the film that all we had to do was respond to God's love and He will take care of the hard part. Little did I know that I would tangibly experience His love later that night at my small group leader's house.

I have been taking yoga and ballet classes for recreational purposes since Sept. 2009, and I have noticed that my right leg was (significantly) longer and stronger than my left leg. Luckily, my uneven leg length hasn't caused me any great physical pain in daily activities, such as walking or running; however, the uneven length and strength in my legs would throw off my balance when I try to dance or do some creative movement. I have heard that uneven leg length and strength are normal in human growth and development, and dancers/athletes would usually find some way to compensate for it. So I just kind of shrugged it off and even joked about it by calling myself Frankenstein because of the seemingly freakish nature of my leg's length, haha. However, secretly, it has been on my mind because I knew that I would have to do a lot of behind-the-scenes strength training in order to compensate for my left leg's current nature.

After Sunday service, we hung out at Johnny's house, watching the Olympics and eating pizza (even though Johnny said he was going to cook Chinese food to celebrate Chinese New Year, haha). I told Johnny about my leg condition. He grabbed me and recruited several other people to pray for healing. I had to sit really still against the wall, at a 90-degree angle. Johnny commanded my left leg to grow out - twice. Nothing happened on the first attempt. A few seconds had passed on the second try. I had my eyes half-closed, then all of the sudden, I saw my left jean-pant leg move at the speed of lightening! It all happened so fast! Johnny asked me if I had moved my left leg; I said no. If I had intentionally moved my left leg, I would have moved it at a very slow pace. I didn't feel any pain or any tugging. With my back still against the wall and sitting at a 90-degree angle, Johnny did a comparison and discovered that my heels were aligned together (my heels were misaligned before the miraculous healing)! I got up and did some ballet movements, and I noticed a difference in my balance: my left leg can anchor my upper body without topping over!

So God's everywhere, and He's listening to you. All you have to do is respond to His love and He will take care of the rest. =)

--
Cynthia

********************

Yay Jesus! If you need a miracle in your life, there is a miracle maker, and His name is Jesus.

Johnny

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Posted by johnny at 10:08 PM 0 comments
Leg Growing Out!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010
By johnny

BEFORE

AFTER

That's my friend Cynthia's feet. On Sunday, Feb 14, 2010, at my house, with around 10 people praying for a miracle, Jesus made her left leg grow out to the same length as the right leg! I really wish I could've video recorded what happened, but here's the brief summary of the short 30 second prayer from my perspective:

I was holding her left leg up, and commanding the leg to grow in the name of Jesus. A couple seconds passed. SUDDENLY, the left leg popped out TWICE within seconds and was now the same length as the right one. I did not have time to react to this sudden popping of her leg, so I asked her whether she moved her leg, she said no. She half-closed her eyes, but she saw her jeans moving (because her leg was growing out). Many saw the legs growing and many saw the jeans moving, anyhow, Jesus showed up and made out fun night even better! First miracle in the Chinese New Year of TIGER! Woo! More to come!

Now we just need to pray for her left foot to grow BIGGER to match her right one. haha... =)

Johnny

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Posted by johnny at 11:43 PM 0 comments
Reflection on Encounter

Wednesday, February 10, 2010
By johnny

I wrote this yesterday on my post:
This past Saturday during our cell group dinner, I was reading my friend's facebook note describing an encounter she had with Jesus. I couldn't finish the note because even though I was so gripped by Jesus at that moment and my entire being was having a breakdown because of her words and God's love, but I was having dinner and didn't want to make a scene. I will share more about what I received after reading that note on another post because as of now, I still cannot use my words to describe this intense feeling when I read the note over and over.

I'm going to post my friend's note here (with permission and some proof-reading, of course, but you'll see that it really does not need more proof-reading.). And I shall start to unravel (man I finally use some cool words on this blog) all the mixed emotions and feelings that has been coming to me like waves. I'll try my best to do so.

Get ready to be blown away by this beautifully written piece of "Word Painting".

Encounter

A few days ago, I felt the pride beginning to swell up in my heart again. I could see the self-inflation, the inward focus and subtle obsession with perfection born from a deeper insecurity. I have come to recognize it, but I have also come to hate it along with the self-sufficient attitude it brings. And in the process, I begin to hate myself for my involvement with it. It is not what I want, but the sicker side of my humanity persists in entertaining the darkness. Its visits have become fewer and further between, thanks to power of God in my life, but still, I am locked in a mortal shell for however long I live in this world, journeying between earth and heaven, between brokenness and perfection. As Blaise Pascal once wrote, "Vanity is so anchored in the heart of man that... those who write against it want to have the glory of having written well; and those who read it desire the glory of having read it."

So I pray. I pray for humility. I pray God would do whatever it takes to keep me on my face before Him. The thoughts crossing my mind sicken me. How audacious to think that I could do anything to deserve His favor or His goodness to me! I plead for mercy and I am worried at my apathy toward the whole thing, for I know this should bother me much more than it does. I am disgusted by my lack of disgust. But all I can do is pray for humility. Pray for a broken and contrite heart.

This is a familiar prayer, one I have prayed many times before. And in the past, God has indeed humbled me. I was humbled by humiliation, which proved to be painful, yet effective. It seems that God, who is merciful in all His judgments, deemed it to be the most effective and loving discipline at the time. So that is what I expected this time. I deserved it, and I knew it.

But today, as I walked into my room, my ipod on shuffle sitting on the window sill, I was arrested by what I saw. My window was barely open, but it was just enough to make my curtains dance and come alive in the breath of the wind. "There has never been a greater love than Your Son... No, not one." As I began to worship with Christy Nockels singing through my speakers (oh the wonders of technology...), I turned my attention to the world outside.

And it was then that I saw Him.

Well, my heart saw and knew, but my eyes were too frail to behold the beauty of it. I tried once to open my eyes, but couldn't. I was overcome. Overwhelmed. The sweetness of the mercy rushing over me was too much for my heart to hold. It broke, not with despair, but with the joy of knowing that I was encountering majesty. That I was forgiven. My prayers were being answered, but not with the hard hand of judgment, but rather with the gentle touch of mercy. I felt the weight of the glory and had to sit, because my legs suddenly weren't strong enough to hold me up. When I was able to stand again, I began to drink in the beauty of what I saw outside my chamber of encounter. The wind still whispered through the crack in the window, and it was all so glorious that I couldn't endure the thought that all that separated me from it was a pane of glass and a wire screen. I felt compelled to come closer, to be caught up in it. So I took the screen off, spread a towel out on the roof, climbed out with my journal and began to write.

"Oh how beautiful You are! My heart overflows to You! You have filled me up time and time again! I am incredulous, amazed, speechless at Your infinite mercy, the tender grace and unshakeable love that has come upon me. How can I stand in the presence of such majesty? You have humbled me, not by striking me down as I expected or as my sins deserved, but by flooding me with Your love in such abundance that I am too overwhelmed to speak, much less think I could ever deserve such pleasure."

As I sat there, He continued to ravish my heart. The clouds were layered and thick with slate gray and silver blue. They hung low and close, coming near to the ground so as to soften the drop of each liquid diamond gently laid to rest in the earth. The sun broke through to my left, illuminating the soft crystals still suspended in flight. I could see them all clearly, millions and millions of drops, descending like so many promises of hope and grace to a thirsty land: this dry dirt that has been ravaged by drought and doubt, this desert of desire. But mercy was now falling. The clouds were moving quickly now. Time is also accelerating, I realized. The end is near. The journey is almost over. We are closer than ever. Close enough to heaven to know we are so far from home. The wait short enough to make the longing unbearable. The moment sweet enough to know that we were made to enjoy it forever.

But as the sun suddenly receded, I knew there was work to be done. There is a great battle coming. I can feel the tension growing. Nation will rise against nation. There will be great conflict and pain. But there is also great hope and great victory, for we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but those who believe and are saved. And I am sustained by this glimpse of glory, this encounter with ecstasy and pleasure; this vision of beauty, mercy and grace.

Oh Lord! Never let me forget. Let Your nearness go with me. Then I know I can carry on. I can have the faith to move mountains. I can have the grace to forgive murderers. I can have the trust to take you at Your word. I can have the hope to keep longing...

If only You are with me.

Jesus was, is, and will be the most beautiful person I've ever encountered. And I've said this so many times, but I'm going to say this again: Why would I settle for second best when I know that the best has been waiting for me since the beginning of time? This time, I want to go deeper with You. I now simply cannot afford to trade leading worship for Your intimate presence in my secret place. I see it so clearly now.

Time and time again You come to me, draw me near, and invite me into a deeper revelation and understanding of who You are, Jesus. My history is made in the secret place with You. I wouldn't trade ANYTHING with Your sweet embrace and Your holy fear, not even seeing the dead raise. I've made up my mind. I need LOVE.

This feeling that have consumes me. Maybe this zealous love that starts to ignite that deepest desire for Him is taking over my emotions, my actions, my desires. I want to be like Mary who just wastes her life at the feet of Jesus.

Jesus, I'd trade everything for Your love, but I won't trade Your love for anything.
I hope this sums up what has been unspeakable passionate feelings during the past couple days and the reflection/conviction after reading my friend's note.

Johnny

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Posted by johnny at 1:30 AM 0 comments
Time Out + Purification

Monday, February 8, 2010
By johnny

The timing of things just could not be any better.

It was two weeks ago that I felt in my spirit that I needed a break from doing things, especially from being on the stage playing keys and sing. From what I can remember, I've been on the stage week after week since summer. I remember taking a week off back in mid October, but that was pretty much the only "break" I had during the past six months. And because of what Impact is going through right now, now I have a chance to step down and rest. Jack told me after I shared my heart with him that resting is probably more important than working.

I was made to worship Him, and being in the position where I had the privilege to bring God's people before His throne in worship and praise has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I love the moment when I knew that we were tapping into a new realm of encounter, or when the band was not clicking or I played a wrong note, or when I tear up because of the thickness of God's presence. After all, worship is not about me, it's all about Jesus.

A week ago, I was chatting with a friend online and we were talking about God's fire. Then I started to type out this revelation that God was giving to me:

What is fire?
We're called to be pure and holy.
The process of purification takes time because in order to purify the gold, it must go through fire over and over until there is no more impurity or other substances within the gold.
And that is what God's fire does to our hearts. It first melts our heart and consumes us from the inside out. Many times the first can hurt and rather than enduring, we run away from the refining, flaming fire and try our own ways to purify ourselves with striving.
Gold cannot be pure unless it has been through testing and the fire.
Testings and trials are like magnets--to test whether the gold is pure; if it is pure, then it would not be attracted to the magnet. These trials always cause us to see our weakness.
After a season of growth comes pruning, and after a season of work comes a season of rest and refreshment. The stronger the fire, the purer the gold.

This past Saturday during our cell group dinner, I was reading my friend's facebook note describing an encounter she had with Jesus. I couldn't finish the note because even though I was so gripped by Jesus at that moment and my entire being was having a breakdown because of her words and God's love, but I was having dinner and didn't want to make a scene. I will share more about what I received after reading that note on another post because as of now, I still cannot use my words to describe this intense feeling when I read the note over and over.

Just couple hours ago, Brian Orme and Tom Wong prayed for me. I didn't want to tell them what to pray for because I really want to see whether it's the Lord's plan for me to rest. And so it was: Brian saw me walking down this hallway of revelations, and at the end of this hallway is this opened door, and behind that door is a new level of revelation and encounters that I have never imagined. Tom prayed that God would take me to the holy of holies as I seek His face, and God would lead me into a deeper encounter.

So I was like... thank You Jesus. I'm ready for a season of face-to-face encounter!

⁹For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building. ¹⁰ According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. ¹¹ For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. ¹²Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, ¹³ each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. ¹⁴If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.
-1 Corinthians 3:9~15-

During this season of rest, I want to rest at His feet, be lost in His love, and be consumed by His fire. Not striving anymore. Just me and Jesus.

Johnny

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Posted by johnny at 3:00 PM 1 comments
An Increasing Kingdom

Saturday, February 6, 2010
By johnny

That really has been what's happening for the longest time that I could remember. Maybe I just tend to forget the bad and remember the joyful and the beautiful.

Some general news:

UCSD is definitely on a verge of something really cool. By that I mean since the beginning of 2010, there are people being healed and set free on a weekly basis! This is something that we have never encountered, and the other day I was chatting with this first year student Pauline and she said to me, "I feel like it's too easy! Whoever we lay hands on they would just be healed!" Pauline is definitely one of the bold lions and she would chase down them crutches and heal the sick like no tomorrow!

Pauline's good friend Catherine Peng, another first year student who walks in the power of the Holy Spirit, sent some healing testimonies to IHOP awakening service, and they read it out loud and prayed for UC San Diego that this awakening would spread to the rest of the University of California! WATCH IT HERE.

And here's a testimonial video of my three amazing friends: Leni, Tom, and Sarah. They shared how they encountered God and how God used them to release words of encouragement and healing upon strangers! I love it! WATCH IT HERE.

God is so faithful, and I'm in awe of His goodness.

Johnny

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Posted by johnny at 11:37 AM 0 comments