Entrusted by God

Where You Go I'll Go by Brian Johnson
Where You go I go
What You say I say
What You pray I pray
What You pray I pray

How could I expect to walk without You
When every move that Jesus made was in surrender
I will not begin to live without You
For You alone are worthy and You are always good

Though the world sees and soon forgets
We will not forget who You are and what You've done for us

****
It's 3:30am. I am about to head to bed after this entry.

Yesterday(Sat) I was looking for someone that I could pray for, but I didn't really find anyone. I was with Annie at McDevil...I mean McDonald's late at night after 12, wanted to get some food for we did not have dinner. The crazy thing was that there was only one worker and she looked like a college student, maybe a graduate. We weren't sure. But we were both surprised at her working at such late hours alone(she's got friends hanging out with her inside). But anyhow I felt this burden upon me and I prayed for that worker at my seat and so was Annie. As we were waiting at the drive-thru window and since I didn't have a chance to pray for someone that day and the McWorker did not seem to be the one, I asked Annie that whether I could pray for her. Actually, it was more like, "Annie, I'm gonna pray for you right now(the sixth person)." So I prayed for her career and her open houses coming up and all that jazz. 'Twas good. So that was that.

****

First of all I just want to praise that I actually woke up at around 8:30 this Sunday morning! For those who know me, when I sleep, I'm basically dead and nothing can wake me up besides some annoying alarm clocks. I did a simple prayer asking God to wake me up on time the night before! GIG!
Anyhow here comes the Sunday celebration. Right before worship, I suddenly found out that my top keyboard's effect PR-A 017 was altered in some way that I could not fix in 30 sec. I was like....what is going on here? I don't remember I did any changes to this really amazing effect. Oh well, worship had to start so I only used the bottom keyboard today unlike other times. Anyhow, the worship had to start. Usually I would started to feel His presence during the first song, if not, the second. But today was very weird. I really did not feel His presence AT ALL during the worship, even when Jack took over. I kept on looking at the congregation, thinking are they feeling His presence? Why aren't they dancing and shouting to God? If I'm not feeling God does it mean that the music was not helping people to feel His presence? Anyhow, the worship seemed quite short to me.
Before Pastor David Tai's message today, I shared the testimony about Jim, the really cool guy I prayed for--go check out the entry a couple days ago if you want to know what happened! So, as I was sharing, I felt a bit of Hie presence. After all, He was the One glorified. Good stuff.
Pastor David shared about Revelation Ch7 and Ch20--the end zones(the goal and purpose) of our lives. The sharing was simply mind-boggling. Such a radical thought yet a powerful revelation directly from the One to Come. If you wish to know more about it, go check out Alice's blog: She takes fabulous notes and post them on her blog every week afer service! A faithful note-taker she is.
It was such a heavy-loaded sharing that Pastor David was not able to finish sharing some details yet he still blew me away with his talk. I felt His presence in the room throughout the talk and my heart was stirred up once again. I haven't had a stirring heart for a while--I've always yearn for and long for God's presence yet nothing like this. A heart stirred by Him and Him alone. I started to understand the reason why I'm at what I am right now. I found out this indescribable end zone of my life and I am ready to go for the touchdown.
After Pastor's talk, Radical Jam went up and started to sing Where You Go I'll Go by Brian & Jenn Johnson. Through the words and the notes I once again commited in a relationship with Him--to love His presence and follw all His ways. Many felt convicted to come to the front and receive prayers for their hearts were also stirred. After praying for them, Pastor actually came and prayed over me as I was still playing. I really forgot what he said since I was just soaking into God's overflowing presence right then; he said something about the importance of the positions of the musicians at that time. The moment Pastor Tai laid his hand on me, I felt like every muscle and organ of my body was being stirred! After his prayer I started to pray in tongue and kept on worshiping. Man that felt so good. Suddenly a hand was on my back as I was playing with my eyes closed. The first thing the brother with his hand on me said was, "God says that His presence is with you. Somehow He entrust you with His presence. His presence is inside of you, for you to carry." Woah. I didn't realize how confirming the prayer was until I just typed it out. Totally insane. Woah. God, You entrust me with Your presence? Just two hours before I was asking God why I did not feel Your presence in the room?

I still don't know why. But one thing I know now is that I am humbled again because who am I that He is installing His presence in me? Moreover, He trust me! God You are simply out of Your mind(guess not!)!!! You are so good my Jesus. Anyhow, the bother then said to me that even I've playing other people's songs, I am using my heart to make them new songs to God. Yeah he was right. Since summer I've been wanting to compose and write more songs but so far all I have are fragments of different things...However I really do love and appreciate other musicians'/worshipes' works very much. During and after his prayer, my right wrist started to hurt so much that I could onlt play with my left hand for a while. Anyhow, I really pray that God would look over me and my hands--my worship instrument--to keep my hands from hurting when I play the keys.
Amen.
****

The service ended at around 4:30(crazy huh) but it ended more like atound 5 since many were still in the front. After that I offered a prayer to my bro Eric(my seventh person!). A wonderful guy who is always unexpected in some ways. I prayed for God's control of his life since he's been struggling within whether he should quit his current job and find a better one. I also prayed that God would keep him focused on what's important--His life purpose for him--and not to go off track. I just felt this heat around us as I was praying for and laying my hand on him. I knew God was there at the right moment to talk to Him through my prayer. Praise You Jesus. You are great.

ADD ON(thanks to Alice): Another part of Pastor David's praying over me--"the music you play will impact this generation, it will counter the satan worship during the end times..." Yeah. Whenever I worship, I just want to give Him the best worship EVER--and nothing can block me from doing that. I just want to praise You, Lord!

God thank You for entrusting Your presence to me. Surely I will cherish it with all I am. And I really don't have to worry about Your "not showing up" since I've got Your presence all over me already, right? =)

It's 5am. Time for bed. God is so good.
Johnny
****

Switch topic: today(Sun) was Northfield Mount Hermon's Christmas Vespers on campus!!!
I really miss it tons and tons. I bet the two concerts went smoothly and the singers were all proud of themselves! I can't wait to go back!!