What Should I Do?

1. Love my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength
2. Love my neighbors as myself
3. Repeat 1 & 2 over and over and over again

Dad's not home tonight. He's in Tainan and will be back tomorrow. I had a wonderful time with my middle school classmates. So many awesome and funny memories kicked us all back to TunHua Middle School. I felt young once again (haha)! These are really some good friends of mine and I really thank the Lord that this reunion was pretty successful! Pictures will be posted tomorrow prob!

Got home and walked home with mom. Grandma's gall bladder removal surgery will take place this Wednesday (please keep her in prayers!). Mom, once again, asked me to pray for Grandma, and added something like: "You haven't been praying a lot." I did not understand why she said that, so I said to her, "I know I haven't been praying a lot, but I know that God does not only answer my prayers, but also yours."

She never wants to talk about Jesus. She just wants ME to pray. And whenever I ask her "Why don't you want to pray" or "Why don't you want to believe in Jesus", she always said, "I don't want to discuss this, OKAY?" or she will change the topic in a snap. I don't know what to say or what to do. She talks to NO ONE about what's deep inside because she basically lives a life of work. No heartfelt talks with girlfriends. No intimate talks with dad either. She has no friends to talk with, and she is not searching for friends because she thinks that she cannot trust anyone. I don't know why she has this attitude toward the world.

A big spiritual warfare's in my family. Dad's baptism has caused the enemy to intensify its attacks within my family. I hate you and you can just go die forever and burn in hell, satan. You have no place in my family. Leave right now in the Name of Jesus!!!!

I don't even know what to type right now. Thinking about this is giving me headaches and I do not know why. There have been too many incidents like this, and tonight was especially special because I got to spent some one-to-one time with her. Lord, I need You so much. I pray to You that You would tear down all the walls of doubt, insecurity, loneliness, and low temper within my family. Jesus, come and shake what can be shaken and rebuild Your temples within Dad, Mom, and myself. Lord my desire is to see my family to be saved during this trip! I know You are moving and You have used me to speak words of love to mom more and more. You have given me the greatest mother in the world and she is the greatest mom in the world in my eyes! Jesus, 我全家就是你家 (I give You my entire family)!

What should I do, Jesus?
I love my mom so much. She can be real harsh and pierce my heart her words, attitude, and actions, but I still love her. Jesus, if I cannot even love my mom, how can I love people outside of my own family?

Do what only You can do, Jesus.
It's nice to tear up reading Song of Songs 2.
I am a lily of the valleys.

Johnny